Darkness "Even the Dead will Scream"

Director: Leif Jonker

Starring: Gary Miller & Michael Gisick



After two viewings of "Darkness," I have decided there is no plot in this movie. Sure there is some dialogue in the movie, but what moves "Darkness" forward is the amount of gore. If it wasn't for the numerous goreshots featured in "Darkness," I wouldn't see any reason for people wanting to complete their viewing of "Darkness."

With that being said "Darkness" is a "hardgore" film and what makes "Darkness" even cooler is that it is not an Italian, French, or Spanish film, but American. "Darkness" is the only American "hardgore" film that I can think of. "Darkness" is violent for the sake of being violent.

As one might assume, "Darkness" is a low-budget film and by the looks of it, the producers' money went to the right department, the effects. Each kill is greatly over exaggerated, brutal, and is sure to put a smile on the face of any horrorhound.

"Darkness" starts off with a bang and then sort of turns into a cowboys and Indians type of thing as the rest of the film only consists of the vampires chasing the kids and then the kids chasing the vampires. This pattern exists until the film ends, but you gladly ignore the trend because of the nicely executed, CGI free gore.

Watchable
For Fans of Independent and Gore Horror Films
6 out of 10

Trailer for "Darkness:"

Video Violence "Could this happen at your Video Store?"

Director: Gary Cohen

Starring: Gary Schwartz & Chick Kaplan



"Video Violence" is about a couple who has just moved to a new town and has just opened a video store. Checking in movies one morning, they find a blank video tape that doesn't belong to them. Deciding to watch it, they discover it is a snuff film and being murdered is the local post man. Things slowly go from bad to worse when the police captain won't believe them and they keep receiving more video tapes containing murders.

"Video Violence" sealed the fact for me that I hate movies shot on video. I understand a limited budget was used, but video just doesn't look good to me. I was ready to pop my own ear drums having to listen to the score of "Video Violence." It was like the dude who did the score thought to himself, "How bad can I make this suck and end my career?" Acting is pretty nonexistent and the FTC should file a legal suit against whoever designed the DVD art stating how much gore is in it.

Even though I just complained about the amount gore, the gore that is shown is probably the only thing going for "Video Violence." The goreshots presented in "Video Violence" are really quick however. They are on screen and then quickly off the screen. However, the gore looks really good. For example, there is one scene were one of the killers carves his name into a girl's chest, it looks very convincing.

Only if you are a complete gore enthusiast would I recommend you punish yourself and watch "Video Violence."

3 out of 10

I could not find the trailer for "Video Violence," so here is a goreshot from the movie:

Faceless "If there is but One Life, there are several ways to Die"

Director: Jess Franco

Starring: Helmut Berger & Brigitte Lahaie



I don't know if this review should "count" due to my copy of "Faceless" being so scratched, I had to fast forward until the DVD started to play normally. I actually didn't want to finish watching it, but do to a Chas Balun review on the back of the case, I felt I should finish it (Chas Balun always has some cool cat quote for trashy, gory exploitation films).

So anyways, "Faceless" is about this dude, who is a plastic surgeon, who manages to scar the face of one of his patients for life (eh). The patient decides the best way to get even is to scar her doctor's face with some sort of acid. When the patient goes to do the deed, the surgeon's sister pushes him out of the way, receiving a face full of acid that burns her face. The surgeon promises to find a way to restore his sister's face. He chooses to do so by kidnapping women and cutting their facial skin off and applying it to his sister's face. Since he can't get this method to work, he keeps kidnapping more women and eventually a private detective is hired to locate the missing women.

Now this was my first Jess Franco film and from what I have read, all of Franco's film are always complete trash. So I was expecting a whole lot of nonsense sex and gore, after all, "Faceless" is an exploitation film.

I am afraid was a bit disappointed.

For example, in one scene the surgeon's head goon has captured a woman who was snooping around the surgeon's office, he locks her in a wooden locker. Conveniently, the goon has a power drill nearby and in the next shot we see the drill enter the locker, nearing our victim's face. The next shot is outside the locker and we just see blood run down the door. I don't know what is worse, an off screen kill or a kill that is technically on screen, but we don't see the victim bite it.

In at least four scenes that I can think of, our favorite surgeon turns down meaningless sex because he has "work" to attend to. I mean, don't us younger guys watch horror films for the boobs that come with the genre?

Maybe I am being to harsh on "Faceless," after all, I didn't get to watch it in its entirety.

Your Choice
For Fans of Gore and Italian Exploitation Films
5 out of 10

Trailer for "Faceless:"

Wolf Creek "The Thrill is in the Hunt"

Director: Greg McLean

Starring: John Jarratt & Cassandra Magrath



Based on a "true story," "Wolf Creek" is about three kids who decide to go hiking at Wolf Creek National Park. When they arrive, there isn't a single person to be seen in what looks like in miles. Some national park huh? So they go hiking and just have a grand of a time, but when they return (que scary music please), their car doesn't work. I don't know where the hell they would have walked to, but they decide it will just be better to sleep over night in the car. In the middle of the night, after some poor Darth Vader impersonations, lights begin to approach their car and immediately they assume it is a U.F.O. Right, because that is the most sensible thing to think when stranded in the middle nowhere. But instead, it turns out to be "uncle" Mick, a professional poacher. After a quick look at their car, 'ol Mick claims he has just the parts to fix their vehicle and he would be more than glad to tow them to his place of residence and fix their car, free of charge. After driving for a few hours, they finally reach their destination, share a camp fire, and fall asleep. When they wake up, one of the girls is tied up, another is beaten, tied to a pole and being threatened with a gun by "uncle" Mick, and the third dude is no where to be find.

The girl who is tied up is eventually able to break free and is given the opportunity to find her other two friends and kill or escape from I-have-to-much-knowledge-of-my-surrounding-area Mick.

My 10 initial thoughts after viewing "Wolf Creek" were:

1. It needs more gore.
2. Shot in Australia, the scenery in "Wolf Creek" is beautiful and easy to appreciate.
3. The dialogue spoken among the three kids is believable.
4. More gore should have been used.
5. Due to the phrase "Based on True Events" plastered on the top of the DVD cover, dumb kids that thought Leatherface is real will think this really happened.
6. It needs way more gore.
7. Are all the nice, foreign people that want to help other people, really out to kill them?
8. If this DVD is unrated, where is all the gore?
9. What?! A horror film without excessive nudity?
10. All horror films need a lot of gore.

After my initial viewing, back in 2005, I hated "Wolf Creek." But recently, I read on the Internet positive reviews about "Wolf Creek" from both Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez, and since I am just a mindless robot that does what the industry tells me to do, I picked up "Wolf Creek" and watched it again. And you know what? I wasn't disappointed.

Watchable
For Fans of New Wave Horror
6 out of 10

Trailer for "Wolf Creek:"

"Midnight Meat Train" The Most Terrifying Ride You'll Ever Take

Director: Ryuhei Kitamura

Starring: Bradley Cooper & Vinnie Jones



Based on a Clive Barker (writer and director of "Hellraiser," and hey, who doesn't like "Hellraiser") short story, "Midnight Meat Train" is about a photographer following a serial killer.

There is actually a lot more to the plot, but because I don't want to ruin anything for you, I won't say. But if you are aware of some of Barker's other work, you know it is going to be gruesome and far out there.

One of the coolest things about "Midnight Meat Train" is also one of the worst things about "Midnight Meat Train," and that would be the gore. There is so much of it. Blood, heads, eyeballs, limbs, teeth, and fingernails fly freely in "Midnight Meat Train." However, about 93% of the gore is CGI.

Other positive things about "Midnight Meat Train" would be the score, the lighting, and I thought the director of photography just did an awesome job.

While watching "Midnight Meat Train," you may ask yourself several questions, such as:

Is the killer a ghost?
Is everybody in on it?
Is it just his imagination?
Who cleans up all the blood?
Whats up with those monsters?
Whose the bad guy in this?
Did I miss the coming attractions?
Is Tom Cruise in this?

I'm upset I don't own a personal copy of "Midnight Meat Train."

Recommend
For Fans of Gore and Original Horror.
7 out of 10

"The Hills Have Eyes" The Lucky Ones Die First

Director: Alexandre Aja

Starring: Aaron Stanford & Dan Byrd



At the time of this writing, I can say I have not seen the original "The Hills Have Eyes" and not feel bad. This is due to the excellent remake French Horror film director Alexandre Aja gives us of "The Hills have Eyes."

In "The Hills have Eyes," families that were living in the New Mexico desert, during the testing of the atom bomb, are affected by the radiation and turn into bloodthirsty mutants. The mutants have survived by living in towns they have created, feeding off of those that fall prey to them.

Years later, a family, the Carters, are traveling across the country and are given a "shortcut" through the New Mexico desert. The mutants, aware they are coming, sabotage their vehicle and quickly make things go from bad to worse.

There is a rape and three people murdered, two getting shot and one getting set on fire, in a single scene!

In the movies, revenge is sweet, and now it is time for the remaining Carters to get theirs and retrieve a newly born infant that was kidnapped from them by the mutants.

Aja's "The Hills have Eyes" is a horror remake that was done right and since that is a bit of a rarity in the horror genre, that should be enough for people to want to watch it.

Be sure to pick up the "unrated" DVD of "The Hills have Eyes" due to Aja knowing the importance of a gnarly goreshot.

Highly Recommended
For Fans of Gore and Remakes
8 out of 10

Trailer for "The Hills have Eyes:"

"Dagon"

Director: Stuart Gordon

Starring: Ezra Godden & Francisco Rabal



I remember seeing the cover of "Dagon" awhile ago and thinking that it looked dumb due to the creature on the cover and the title "Dagon."

So just the other day I was on wikipedia.com and I searched for Lucio Fulci and I came across a page called "Splatter Film." On that page it gave a definition for "Splatter Film" and a list of "Splatter film" directors and some of their more notable films.

On the list was Stuart Gordon, director of "Re-Animator" and "From Beyond" (two personal favorites of mine). Attached to his name was "Dagon" and I thought "He directed that?" So because Gordon's name was attached to "Dagon," I decided to pick it up.

"Dagon" is about two couples whose sailboat crashes into some coral, trapping one of the two couples, due to an ugly storm. The nearest island is Imboca, so the character Paul drifts ashore on a raft looking for help. When Paul returns to the sailboat, the couple is gone and when he returns to Imboca, he discovers his girlfriend is gone.

Paul is told his girlfriend is waiting for him at a hotel and when he arrives, Paul has his first encounter with the uh...uh...fish...zombies, that skin people alive.

Pretty weird, right? And Paul has yet to learn the secret of Imboca or see the bigger, badder monster, fish creatures.

I would consider "Dagon" to be a creature film and one thing I enjoyed about "Dagon" was that it played out like an old 50s type creature film. You don't get to see the big, main creature until the end, while the rest of the film is littered with just really quick glimpses of it.

As one may assume, "Dagon" does have some flaws. My biggest complaint was the CGI. Some of the scenes with CGI were almost cringeful. But one thing that made up for the CGI were a couple of goreshots that were CGI free. In addition to the CGI, the storyline was more than a little confusing. However, I actually enjoyed explaining my interpretation of what I thought was going on to my girlfriend.

I am afraid I can only recommend this to people who are into the horror scene and like Stuart Gordon.

Watchable
For Fans of Creature Films
6 out of 10