Wolverine #72: Old Man Logan

Author: Mark Millar

Publisher: Marvel

Starting in issue Wolverine #66, Old Man Logan takes place fifty years in the future in an alternate Marvel Universe. Fifty years ago in this alternate Marvel Universe, all the supervillains teamed up to kill all the superheroes and did just that. America is now split into four areas, going from east to west, Hulk Land, Kingpin Land, Doom land, and the President's Quarters.

Wolverine, who only goes by the name Logan now, lives in Hulk land as a poor farmer with his wife and two kids. Since the night all the superheroes were murdered, Logan has vowed to never fight again or even pop his adamantium claws.

In the first issue, Wolverine #66, the Hulk Gang, descendants of Bruce Banner, come to collect their rent money, but Logan does not have it. After beating Logan up severally in front of his family, the Hulk Gang leaves saying they will be back next month and that they want double the rent money.

That night as Logan is healing from the attack he sustained from the Hulk Gang, former avenger Hawkeye, Clint Barton, offers Logan a deal that he cannot refuse. Clint has some “precious” cargo that needs to make it all the way to the President’s Quarters and if Logan tags along with him, Clint will give Logan enough money to keep the Hulk Gang away from his family. Logan agrees to go, but under one term, he will not be a party to violence.

Fast forward through six amazing issues of Wolverine: Old Man Logan and we find ourselves at issue #72. By this time, we learn what actually happened that night fifty years ago when the supervillains murdered all the heroes and why Logan won’t pop his claws, Logan and Clint have made it to the President’s Quarters, Clint may have a hard time getting back, and who the president actually is, is finally reveled!

Without giving anything away, Logan has been through hell throughout this entire series and in issue #72 things just get way worse.

It was the most gratifying comic I have EVER read.

SNIKT!

10 out of 10

Martrys

Director: Pascal Laugier

Starring: Morjana Alaoui & Mylène Jampanoï



Anybody see "Inside?" Inside was last years French gory horror sensation.

And every year, I guess there has to be the next big hit, and this year, taking "Inside's" place, was a French film entitled "Martyrs."

And let me tell you son, I loved "Inside" and when word started being spread around for "Martyrs," quite a bit of people were comparing it to "Inside."

So I was pumped. Do you read me? I WAS PUMPED.

I have a horror movie buddy that downloaded it a few weeks before the DVD release and he told me that it was amazing. To quote him, he said, "I felt like I had to take a shower when I was done watching it."

Did I tell you I was pumped? Because now I am real pumped after hearing his opinion.

So when the DVD finally came out on 4/28/09, I was a little broke and I did not buy it. Turns out, me being broke was a blessing in disguise.

So I borrow "Martyrs" from my friend that I metioned eariler and the first 45 minutes are just awesome. It had a fast pace, the gore was nice, and the story had certainly caught my attention.

Then the movie turned. Into. Crap.

I am actually surprised I finished it, I was contemplating turning it off.

The movie seriously just lost it pace, and for about 30 minutes, and I don't want to ruin anything for any viewers that are interested in watching it, but the same thing just kept happening and happening and happening and happening. And all though, it did play into the story line, I could of done without it and the "revelation" that comes out because of it, was pretty lame in my opinion.

Like, I am pretty sure that the writer and director, Pascal Laugier, hates woman.

However, I read that on imdb.com, Pascal Laugier, is going to write and direct the "Hellraiser" remake and I honestly think he will do it justice, even after watching "Martyrs."

For French and Gore Enthusiasts
4 out 10

Trailer for "Martyrs:"

Cat In The Brain

Director: Lucio Fulci

Starring: Lucio Fulci & David L. Thompson



In 1999, Grindhouse Releasing released "Cat in the Brain" on Laser Disc and the years that followed showed that region 5 DVDs of "Cat in the Brain," or any other region that wasn't 1, could reach up to $200 dollars on ebay and amazon.com.

Needless to say back in January of this year when Grindhouse Releasing announced they were going to release "Cat in the Brain" on DVD with a ton of bonus features on March 31st of this year, I was way, way excited and even more when I received my pre-ordered copy on April Fools Day.

In "Cat in the Brain," Lucio Fulci plays himself, and for those who do not know, Lucio Fulci is known by some as the "godfather of gore." So in "Cat," Fulci has to start seeing a psychiatrist because he is starting to have trouble distinguishing reality because he has directed so many gory horror films. In addition, bodies starting piling up and Fulci doesn't know if it is he that is committing the murders.

In one scene, a man is grinding up the body of a woman he recently murdered. During the film's lunch break, Fulci can't eat because he keeps imagining the scene were the man is grinding up the woman's body.

In another scene, Fulci arrives on set late and the producers have already started filming because he is so predictable and they know what his fans want. I felt with this scene, and a couple others in "Cat," that Fulci was poking fun at himself, making that one of the film's stronger attributes.

And of course we can't forget that "Cat in the Brain" is a exploitation film and a Fulci one at that. So that means there is going to be a ton of gore and nudity that doesn't make any sense. In fact, there is a Nazi orgy sex scene and you know what? That is only something that Mr. Fulci can make happen and you accept it.

"Cat in the Brain" actually recycles scores from previous Fulci films by having them in "Cat" and recycles clips from previous Fulci films by having them in "Cat" as well. When I read that, before I watched "Cat," I thought that was a bummer. But after watching "Cat," I feel as if that actually worked for the movie.

I also feel that "Cat in the Brain" makes a great party movie. Throw it on when friends are over and laugh at all of the plot holes that are covered up with gore. In closing, I am a strong Fulci fan, so I am going to give it a higher rating than what "Cat in the Brain" is actually worth.

For Fans of Fulci, Gore, and Italian Exploitation Films
7 out of 10.

Trailer for "Cat in the Brain:"

Darkness "Even the Dead will Scream"

Director: Leif Jonker

Starring: Gary Miller & Michael Gisick



After two viewings of "Darkness," I have decided there is no plot in this movie. Sure there is some dialogue in the movie, but what moves "Darkness" forward is the amount of gore. If it wasn't for the numerous goreshots featured in "Darkness," I wouldn't see any reason for people wanting to complete their viewing of "Darkness."

With that being said "Darkness" is a "hardgore" film and what makes "Darkness" even cooler is that it is not an Italian, French, or Spanish film, but American. "Darkness" is the only American "hardgore" film that I can think of. "Darkness" is violent for the sake of being violent.

As one might assume, "Darkness" is a low-budget film and by the looks of it, the producers' money went to the right department, the effects. Each kill is greatly over exaggerated, brutal, and is sure to put a smile on the face of any horrorhound.

"Darkness" starts off with a bang and then sort of turns into a cowboys and Indians type of thing as the rest of the film only consists of the vampires chasing the kids and then the kids chasing the vampires. This pattern exists until the film ends, but you gladly ignore the trend because of the nicely executed, CGI free gore.

Watchable
For Fans of Independent and Gore Horror Films
6 out of 10

Trailer for "Darkness:"

Video Violence "Could this happen at your Video Store?"

Director: Gary Cohen

Starring: Gary Schwartz & Chick Kaplan



"Video Violence" is about a couple who has just moved to a new town and has just opened a video store. Checking in movies one morning, they find a blank video tape that doesn't belong to them. Deciding to watch it, they discover it is a snuff film and being murdered is the local post man. Things slowly go from bad to worse when the police captain won't believe them and they keep receiving more video tapes containing murders.

"Video Violence" sealed the fact for me that I hate movies shot on video. I understand a limited budget was used, but video just doesn't look good to me. I was ready to pop my own ear drums having to listen to the score of "Video Violence." It was like the dude who did the score thought to himself, "How bad can I make this suck and end my career?" Acting is pretty nonexistent and the FTC should file a legal suit against whoever designed the DVD art stating how much gore is in it.

Even though I just complained about the amount gore, the gore that is shown is probably the only thing going for "Video Violence." The goreshots presented in "Video Violence" are really quick however. They are on screen and then quickly off the screen. However, the gore looks really good. For example, there is one scene were one of the killers carves his name into a girl's chest, it looks very convincing.

Only if you are a complete gore enthusiast would I recommend you punish yourself and watch "Video Violence."

3 out of 10

I could not find the trailer for "Video Violence," so here is a goreshot from the movie:

Faceless "If there is but One Life, there are several ways to Die"

Director: Jess Franco

Starring: Helmut Berger & Brigitte Lahaie



I don't know if this review should "count" due to my copy of "Faceless" being so scratched, I had to fast forward until the DVD started to play normally. I actually didn't want to finish watching it, but do to a Chas Balun review on the back of the case, I felt I should finish it (Chas Balun always has some cool cat quote for trashy, gory exploitation films).

So anyways, "Faceless" is about this dude, who is a plastic surgeon, who manages to scar the face of one of his patients for life (eh). The patient decides the best way to get even is to scar her doctor's face with some sort of acid. When the patient goes to do the deed, the surgeon's sister pushes him out of the way, receiving a face full of acid that burns her face. The surgeon promises to find a way to restore his sister's face. He chooses to do so by kidnapping women and cutting their facial skin off and applying it to his sister's face. Since he can't get this method to work, he keeps kidnapping more women and eventually a private detective is hired to locate the missing women.

Now this was my first Jess Franco film and from what I have read, all of Franco's film are always complete trash. So I was expecting a whole lot of nonsense sex and gore, after all, "Faceless" is an exploitation film.

I am afraid was a bit disappointed.

For example, in one scene the surgeon's head goon has captured a woman who was snooping around the surgeon's office, he locks her in a wooden locker. Conveniently, the goon has a power drill nearby and in the next shot we see the drill enter the locker, nearing our victim's face. The next shot is outside the locker and we just see blood run down the door. I don't know what is worse, an off screen kill or a kill that is technically on screen, but we don't see the victim bite it.

In at least four scenes that I can think of, our favorite surgeon turns down meaningless sex because he has "work" to attend to. I mean, don't us younger guys watch horror films for the boobs that come with the genre?

Maybe I am being to harsh on "Faceless," after all, I didn't get to watch it in its entirety.

Your Choice
For Fans of Gore and Italian Exploitation Films
5 out of 10

Trailer for "Faceless:"

Wolf Creek "The Thrill is in the Hunt"

Director: Greg McLean

Starring: John Jarratt & Cassandra Magrath



Based on a "true story," "Wolf Creek" is about three kids who decide to go hiking at Wolf Creek National Park. When they arrive, there isn't a single person to be seen in what looks like in miles. Some national park huh? So they go hiking and just have a grand of a time, but when they return (que scary music please), their car doesn't work. I don't know where the hell they would have walked to, but they decide it will just be better to sleep over night in the car. In the middle of the night, after some poor Darth Vader impersonations, lights begin to approach their car and immediately they assume it is a U.F.O. Right, because that is the most sensible thing to think when stranded in the middle nowhere. But instead, it turns out to be "uncle" Mick, a professional poacher. After a quick look at their car, 'ol Mick claims he has just the parts to fix their vehicle and he would be more than glad to tow them to his place of residence and fix their car, free of charge. After driving for a few hours, they finally reach their destination, share a camp fire, and fall asleep. When they wake up, one of the girls is tied up, another is beaten, tied to a pole and being threatened with a gun by "uncle" Mick, and the third dude is no where to be find.

The girl who is tied up is eventually able to break free and is given the opportunity to find her other two friends and kill or escape from I-have-to-much-knowledge-of-my-surrounding-area Mick.

My 10 initial thoughts after viewing "Wolf Creek" were:

1. It needs more gore.
2. Shot in Australia, the scenery in "Wolf Creek" is beautiful and easy to appreciate.
3. The dialogue spoken among the three kids is believable.
4. More gore should have been used.
5. Due to the phrase "Based on True Events" plastered on the top of the DVD cover, dumb kids that thought Leatherface is real will think this really happened.
6. It needs way more gore.
7. Are all the nice, foreign people that want to help other people, really out to kill them?
8. If this DVD is unrated, where is all the gore?
9. What?! A horror film without excessive nudity?
10. All horror films need a lot of gore.

After my initial viewing, back in 2005, I hated "Wolf Creek." But recently, I read on the Internet positive reviews about "Wolf Creek" from both Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez, and since I am just a mindless robot that does what the industry tells me to do, I picked up "Wolf Creek" and watched it again. And you know what? I wasn't disappointed.

Watchable
For Fans of New Wave Horror
6 out of 10

Trailer for "Wolf Creek:"