Zombieland "This Place Is So Dead"

Director: Ruben Fleischer

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg & Woody Harrelson

So I decided to keep this review very brief.

***SPOILER ALERT***

Woody Harrelson and Bill Murray, playing himself, get stoned, dress up like Ghostbusters, and start reciting lines from "Ghostbusters."

***END SPOILER***

And the gore was gnarly.

"Zombieland" may be my new favorite zombie movie.

9 out of 10
Trailer for Zombieland:

Batman: Arkham Asylum

Developed by: Eidos

System: Xbox 360, Playstation 3, and PC

The story involves Batman taking Joker to Arkham Asylum, only for Joker to escape in Arkham and quickly take it over. Batman soon discovers that Joker has a sinister plot, so he chases after Joker deep into Arkham.

The first thing I noticed when I started playing AA, were the graphics. This may be the most beautiful game I have ever played and I didn't even play it on an HDTV. I can only imagine that AA is much more prettier on a Hi-Def TV. In edition to the graphics, the design of all the characters were so cool. Batman with his five o'clock shadow, Scarecrow with his syringe fingers, and Harley Quinn with a skirt, I thought were some of the smallest details on the characters, but it made them look so good.

The voice acting was also very impressive. Mark Hamill (of Luke Skywalker fame) voices the Joker and is just spot on. I felt he gave the character of the Joker such life, I actually enjoyed hearing the joker when he would talk crap and make bad jokes. Some of the other stand out voice actors, I think, is the dude who played Commissioner Gordon, and the girl who played Harley Quinn. However, I have always had a bit of a problem with Kevin Conroy, the man who voices Batman. Conroy comes off as kind of cheesy to me. I have always felt this way, even when I saw Batman: Mask of the Phantasm forever ago.

The game play is great. One of the stand out features of AA, I thought was the ability to use all of Batman's devices and gadgets. I didn't feel like anything really lagged and the game play never really got repetitive. The combat system was awesome. It just felt so fluid and was so cool taking on like 10 goons at one time. The stealth missions were also really cool, but again, because of the cool things Batman can use and can do to incapacitate goons.

I really can't find any real flaw in this game. If I had to, it would be Kevin Conroy's voice acting, and thinking the story mode was a little short. It only took me about nine or ten hours to beat the story mode. However, there is still a ton I can do, such as solving all of The Riddler's riddles. The game says I have only beaten 65% of it!

I definitely recommend buying Batman: Arkham Asylum
9 out of 10
Trailer for Batman: Arkham Asylum:

Inglourious Basterds "Once upon a time in Nazi occupied France..."

Director: Quentin Tarantino

Starring: Brad Pitt & Christoph Waltz

"Inglourious Basterds" tells the story of Shosanna Dreyfus, played by Mélanie Laurent, whose family is murdered by Col. Hans Landa, nicknamed the "The Jew Hunter," and his group of men. Shosanna manages to escape and four years later runs a small theater in France.

Shosanna meets a young man named Fredrick Zoller, who managed to kill close to 300 American soldiers, fighting from a bell tower. Joseph Goebbels, the Third Reich's Minister of Propaganda and one of Hitler's right hand men, has just made a new movie entitled "Nation's Pride" about Zoller's story and Zoller wants the premiere to take place at Shosanna's theater.

Shosanna agrees, partially out of fear and for revenge. She plans to trap everyone inside and then set the theater on fire.

"The Basterds" are a group of American Jewish soldiers, led by Lt. Aldo Raine, played by Brad Pitt, that have a reputation for terrorizing Nazi soldiers and when they discover Hitler is going to be at the premiere of "Nation's Pride," they decide to crash the party.

If you are hoping for another "Saving Private Ryan," "Inglourious Basterds" may let you down. Not only was there not a single battle scene, "Inglourious Basterds" is not even historically accurate.

But neither of those, I believe, make "Basterds" less enjoyable. In fact, I think it enhances the quality of the film. We have all taken history classes and know the outcome of World War II, but what "Basterds" allows us to do is temporarily throw away what we learned in school and make a make believe WWII story a lot of fun.

Tarantino's dialogue is, of course, top notch in "Basterds." Before I got to watch the film I was discussing with my buddies if they thought Tarantino's always amusing pop culture dialogue was going to be in "Basterds." I guessed it may not, due to the time period and the nature of the story, but sure enough it was.

I did feel, however, that every scene was just stretched out as long as it could have been, but not one scene let me down. Every scene just had a great climax and conclusion.

I think my only complaint with "Basterds" was Eli Roth's acting, who played Sgt. Donny Donowitz, nicknamed "The Bear Jew". But before I start criticizing Roth, I would like it to be known that I love Roth. "Cabin Fever (Roth's directorial debut), "Hostel," and "Hostel II" are some of my favortie horror films. But I felt Roth was trying to hard. He went from being a small indie horror film director to acting right next to Brad Pitt in "Basterds." I'm sure that's not an easy job.

But watch "Basterds" and have fun. Try to catch it while it is still in theaters!

8 out of 10

Boogie Nights "Everyone Has One Special Thing"

Director: Paul Thomas Anderson

Starring: Mark Wahlberg & Burt Reynolds

Backed by an amazing cast, "Boogie Nights" tells the story of Eddie Adams (Wahlberg), who becomes a popular adult film star, but eventually hits a downward spiral filled with drug use and complexes.

The first half the film shows the rise of Wahlberg's character, who changes his name to Dirk Diggler, and although interesting, it almost can't compare to the stellar and intense second half of the film.

P.T. Anderson's choice of photography is nothing less than extraordinary, showcasing that other film's do not have to have a million different cuts in a single scene. The music in the film fits perfectly and is just so much fun. The supporting cast is also worth mentioning with such stars as John C. Reilly, Don Cheadle, Heather Graham, and William H. Macy.


9 out of 10
Trailer for "Boogie Nights:"

Wolverine #72: Old Man Logan

Author: Mark Millar

Publisher: Marvel

Starting in issue Wolverine #66, Old Man Logan takes place fifty years in the future in an alternate Marvel Universe. Fifty years ago in this alternate Marvel Universe, all the supervillains teamed up to kill all the superheroes and did just that. America is now split into four areas, going from east to west, Hulk Land, Kingpin Land, Doom land, and the President's Quarters.

Wolverine, who only goes by the name Logan now, lives in Hulk land as a poor farmer with his wife and two kids. Since the night all the superheroes were murdered, Logan has vowed to never fight again or even pop his adamantium claws.

In the first issue, Wolverine #66, the Hulk Gang, descendants of Bruce Banner, come to collect their rent money, but Logan does not have it. After beating Logan up severally in front of his family, the Hulk Gang leaves saying they will be back next month and that they want double the rent money.

That night as Logan is healing from the attack he sustained from the Hulk Gang, former avenger Hawkeye, Clint Barton, offers Logan a deal that he cannot refuse. Clint has some “precious” cargo that needs to make it all the way to the President’s Quarters and if Logan tags along with him, Clint will give Logan enough money to keep the Hulk Gang away from his family. Logan agrees to go, but under one term, he will not be a party to violence.

Fast forward through six amazing issues of Wolverine: Old Man Logan and we find ourselves at issue #72. By this time, we learn what actually happened that night fifty years ago when the supervillains murdered all the heroes and why Logan won’t pop his claws, Logan and Clint have made it to the President’s Quarters, Clint may have a hard time getting back, and who the president actually is, is finally reveled!

Without giving anything away, Logan has been through hell throughout this entire series and in issue #72 things just get way worse.

It was the most gratifying comic I have EVER read.

SNIKT!

10 out of 10

Martrys

Director: Pascal Laugier

Starring: Morjana Alaoui & Mylène Jampanoï



Anybody see "Inside?" Inside was last years French gory horror sensation.

And every year, I guess there has to be the next big hit, and this year, taking "Inside's" place, was a French film entitled "Martyrs."

And let me tell you son, I loved "Inside" and when word started being spread around for "Martyrs," quite a bit of people were comparing it to "Inside."

So I was pumped. Do you read me? I WAS PUMPED.

I have a horror movie buddy that downloaded it a few weeks before the DVD release and he told me that it was amazing. To quote him, he said, "I felt like I had to take a shower when I was done watching it."

Did I tell you I was pumped? Because now I am real pumped after hearing his opinion.

So when the DVD finally came out on 4/28/09, I was a little broke and I did not buy it. Turns out, me being broke was a blessing in disguise.

So I borrow "Martyrs" from my friend that I metioned eariler and the first 45 minutes are just awesome. It had a fast pace, the gore was nice, and the story had certainly caught my attention.

Then the movie turned. Into. Crap.

I am actually surprised I finished it, I was contemplating turning it off.

The movie seriously just lost it pace, and for about 30 minutes, and I don't want to ruin anything for any viewers that are interested in watching it, but the same thing just kept happening and happening and happening and happening. And all though, it did play into the story line, I could of done without it and the "revelation" that comes out because of it, was pretty lame in my opinion.

Like, I am pretty sure that the writer and director, Pascal Laugier, hates woman.

However, I read that on imdb.com, Pascal Laugier, is going to write and direct the "Hellraiser" remake and I honestly think he will do it justice, even after watching "Martyrs."

For French and Gore Enthusiasts
4 out 10

Trailer for "Martyrs:"

Cat In The Brain

Director: Lucio Fulci

Starring: Lucio Fulci & David L. Thompson



In 1999, Grindhouse Releasing released "Cat in the Brain" on Laser Disc and the years that followed showed that region 5 DVDs of "Cat in the Brain," or any other region that wasn't 1, could reach up to $200 dollars on ebay and amazon.com.

Needless to say back in January of this year when Grindhouse Releasing announced they were going to release "Cat in the Brain" on DVD with a ton of bonus features on March 31st of this year, I was way, way excited and even more when I received my pre-ordered copy on April Fools Day.

In "Cat in the Brain," Lucio Fulci plays himself, and for those who do not know, Lucio Fulci is known by some as the "godfather of gore." So in "Cat," Fulci has to start seeing a psychiatrist because he is starting to have trouble distinguishing reality because he has directed so many gory horror films. In addition, bodies starting piling up and Fulci doesn't know if it is he that is committing the murders.

In one scene, a man is grinding up the body of a woman he recently murdered. During the film's lunch break, Fulci can't eat because he keeps imagining the scene were the man is grinding up the woman's body.

In another scene, Fulci arrives on set late and the producers have already started filming because he is so predictable and they know what his fans want. I felt with this scene, and a couple others in "Cat," that Fulci was poking fun at himself, making that one of the film's stronger attributes.

And of course we can't forget that "Cat in the Brain" is a exploitation film and a Fulci one at that. So that means there is going to be a ton of gore and nudity that doesn't make any sense. In fact, there is a Nazi orgy sex scene and you know what? That is only something that Mr. Fulci can make happen and you accept it.

"Cat in the Brain" actually recycles scores from previous Fulci films by having them in "Cat" and recycles clips from previous Fulci films by having them in "Cat" as well. When I read that, before I watched "Cat," I thought that was a bummer. But after watching "Cat," I feel as if that actually worked for the movie.

I also feel that "Cat in the Brain" makes a great party movie. Throw it on when friends are over and laugh at all of the plot holes that are covered up with gore. In closing, I am a strong Fulci fan, so I am going to give it a higher rating than what "Cat in the Brain" is actually worth.

For Fans of Fulci, Gore, and Italian Exploitation Films
7 out of 10.

Trailer for "Cat in the Brain:"