"Midnight Meat Train" The Most Terrifying Ride You'll Ever Take

Director: Ryuhei Kitamura

Starring: Bradley Cooper & Vinnie Jones



Based on a Clive Barker (writer and director of "Hellraiser," and hey, who doesn't like "Hellraiser") short story, "Midnight Meat Train" is about a photographer following a serial killer.

There is actually a lot more to the plot, but because I don't want to ruin anything for you, I won't say. But if you are aware of some of Barker's other work, you know it is going to be gruesome and far out there.

One of the coolest things about "Midnight Meat Train" is also one of the worst things about "Midnight Meat Train," and that would be the gore. There is so much of it. Blood, heads, eyeballs, limbs, teeth, and fingernails fly freely in "Midnight Meat Train." However, about 93% of the gore is CGI.

Other positive things about "Midnight Meat Train" would be the score, the lighting, and I thought the director of photography just did an awesome job.

While watching "Midnight Meat Train," you may ask yourself several questions, such as:

Is the killer a ghost?
Is everybody in on it?
Is it just his imagination?
Who cleans up all the blood?
Whats up with those monsters?
Whose the bad guy in this?
Did I miss the coming attractions?
Is Tom Cruise in this?

I'm upset I don't own a personal copy of "Midnight Meat Train."

Recommend
For Fans of Gore and Original Horror.
7 out of 10

"The Hills Have Eyes" The Lucky Ones Die First

Director: Alexandre Aja

Starring: Aaron Stanford & Dan Byrd



At the time of this writing, I can say I have not seen the original "The Hills Have Eyes" and not feel bad. This is due to the excellent remake French Horror film director Alexandre Aja gives us of "The Hills have Eyes."

In "The Hills have Eyes," families that were living in the New Mexico desert, during the testing of the atom bomb, are affected by the radiation and turn into bloodthirsty mutants. The mutants have survived by living in towns they have created, feeding off of those that fall prey to them.

Years later, a family, the Carters, are traveling across the country and are given a "shortcut" through the New Mexico desert. The mutants, aware they are coming, sabotage their vehicle and quickly make things go from bad to worse.

There is a rape and three people murdered, two getting shot and one getting set on fire, in a single scene!

In the movies, revenge is sweet, and now it is time for the remaining Carters to get theirs and retrieve a newly born infant that was kidnapped from them by the mutants.

Aja's "The Hills have Eyes" is a horror remake that was done right and since that is a bit of a rarity in the horror genre, that should be enough for people to want to watch it.

Be sure to pick up the "unrated" DVD of "The Hills have Eyes" due to Aja knowing the importance of a gnarly goreshot.

Highly Recommended
For Fans of Gore and Remakes
8 out of 10

Trailer for "The Hills have Eyes:"

"Dagon"

Director: Stuart Gordon

Starring: Ezra Godden & Francisco Rabal



I remember seeing the cover of "Dagon" awhile ago and thinking that it looked dumb due to the creature on the cover and the title "Dagon."

So just the other day I was on wikipedia.com and I searched for Lucio Fulci and I came across a page called "Splatter Film." On that page it gave a definition for "Splatter Film" and a list of "Splatter film" directors and some of their more notable films.

On the list was Stuart Gordon, director of "Re-Animator" and "From Beyond" (two personal favorites of mine). Attached to his name was "Dagon" and I thought "He directed that?" So because Gordon's name was attached to "Dagon," I decided to pick it up.

"Dagon" is about two couples whose sailboat crashes into some coral, trapping one of the two couples, due to an ugly storm. The nearest island is Imboca, so the character Paul drifts ashore on a raft looking for help. When Paul returns to the sailboat, the couple is gone and when he returns to Imboca, he discovers his girlfriend is gone.

Paul is told his girlfriend is waiting for him at a hotel and when he arrives, Paul has his first encounter with the uh...uh...fish...zombies, that skin people alive.

Pretty weird, right? And Paul has yet to learn the secret of Imboca or see the bigger, badder monster, fish creatures.

I would consider "Dagon" to be a creature film and one thing I enjoyed about "Dagon" was that it played out like an old 50s type creature film. You don't get to see the big, main creature until the end, while the rest of the film is littered with just really quick glimpses of it.

As one may assume, "Dagon" does have some flaws. My biggest complaint was the CGI. Some of the scenes with CGI were almost cringeful. But one thing that made up for the CGI were a couple of goreshots that were CGI free. In addition to the CGI, the storyline was more than a little confusing. However, I actually enjoyed explaining my interpretation of what I thought was going on to my girlfriend.

I am afraid I can only recommend this to people who are into the horror scene and like Stuart Gordon.

Watchable
For Fans of Creature Films
6 out of 10

"Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon"

Director: Scott Glosserman

Starring: Nathan Baesel & Robert Englund



Leslie Vernon, he is nice, witty, charismatic, and an aspiring serial killer.

In the world Leslie Vernon lives in, Jason Vorhees, Freddy Kreuger, and Michael Myers all really exist and Leslie wants to be the next "big" serial killer.

So what does Leslie do? He hires a film crew to document him as he prepares for the night when he starts killing kids.

Believe it or not, "Behind the Mask" successfully makes fun of the slasher genre, while it pays homage to it as well.

In one scene, Leslie is pounding away at a punching bag to build up his stamina. When asked why he does this so frequently he says, "There is that whole thing were you make it look like you are walking, while everybody else is running their asses off."

Aside from the humor, "Behind the Mask" has all of the stereotypical staples to make it a perfect fit in the slasher genre. The virgin heroine, an Abba, and dumb teenagers that love doing drugs and having sex are all included in "Behind the Mask."

So what happens when Leslie actually starts killing off the kids? Does the documentary crew just sit back and film or do they intervene in Leslie's plan, something they promised not to do?

Because most people think the horror genre is only good for mindless violence, I would go as far as to call "Behind the Mask" smart and creative.

Highly Recommended
For Fans of Slashers and Throwback Slashers
8 out of 10

Trailer for "Behind the Mask:"

"Zombie" We are Going to Eat You!

Director: Lucio Fulci

Starring: Tisa Farrow & Ian McCulloch

The year was 1979 and George A. Romero just released what many believe to be his best film, "Dawn of the Dead." Shortly after the release of "Dawn," popular Italian horror film director, Dario Argento, took Romero's "Dawn of the Dead" and cut out the comedic relief scenes, re-scored it with a bit more darker music, and released it over in Italy as "Zombi." "Zombi" was greeted with huge success.

So in 1980, to cash in on "Zombi's" success, Italian horror film director, Lucio Fulci, released a zombie movie of his own and titled it "Zombi 2."

Having nothing to do with Romero's "Dawn" or Argento's cut "Zombi," Fulci released a zombie movie that proved good enough to stand alone.

In "Zombi 2," Anne Bowles goes looking for her father, on the island of Matool, after her father's boat sails ashore in a New York harbor without him on it (Matool is where the father was last seen). When Anne finally reaches Matool, along with a newsreporter named Peter West and another couple she brought along, they learn that the island has been taken over by flesh-eating zombies due to some voodoo curse.

"Zombi 2" is basically a gorehound's dream. With several memorable goreshots, there is even one in slow-motion. Lucio Fulci is actually known by some as the "Godfather of Gore."

You would think, even in '80, that the zombie genre would be tired. However, that is not the case for Fulci's "Zombi 2." The gore is amazing, the zombie make-up is great (no yellow faces), and the score is superb.

If I had to pick a favorite scene is Fulci's "Zombi 2," it would have to be a scene in which a zombie and a shark wrestle. Yes, you read that right, a zombie and a shark wrestle. You may be sitting there wondering, "Why would a zombie and a shark wrestle?" But wouldn't a better question be, "Who wins between the zombie and shark?"

Fulci's "Zombi 2" has been released several times with different cuts and different titles. However, Fulci's "Zombi 2" can now be picked up uncut on DVD under the plain Jane title "Zombie."

Highly Recommended
For Fans of Zombie, Italian, and Gore Cinema
8 out of 10

Trailer for "Zombie:"

"Cannibal Holocaust" Ripout! Barbeque! Devour! How long can you take it?

Director: Ruggero Deodato

Starring: Robert Kerman



Cannibal Holocaust is one of those films, I think, that you just have to watch to see if it actually lives up to all of it's hype.

Did the director really go to jail upon the film's release?
Were the actors really killed?
Did they really kill real animals?
Is the film really banned in several countries?

To keep the hype level high for those of you that have yet to watch "Cannibal Holocaust," I will tell you that the answer is yes to three of the four questions above.

Cannibal Holocaust is about a documentary crew that heads deep into South America to film a documentary on a cannibalistic tribe. The thing is, the documentary crew never returns. So Professor Harold Monroe of NYU sets out to find them, but only returns with their footage. The majority of the film is the "real" footage of the documentary crew.

Possibly too much for sensitive viewers, Cannibal Holocaust may have you sitting on pins as you witness murder, rape, and cannibalistic rituals.

Upon the completion of my first viewing of Cannibal Holocaust, I felt like I should have been awarded some type of award for making it all the way through it. The second time I watched it, I saw a cut, censored version of it and it did not have that same impact on me like after my first viewing. I decided to watch it a third time and since I own the "Deluxe Edition" of Cannibal Holocaust (from the fine folks over at Grindhouse Releasing), I decided to watch it uncut (the Grindhouse Releasing version gives the option to watch it censored or uncut). I still found it to be brutal, but I guess I wasn't shocked since it was my third time going into "Cannibal Holocaust."

There is probably worse out there, but make up your own mind and watch "Cannibal Holocaust" at least once.

Recommended
For fans of Italian, Cannibal, and Gore Cinema
7 out of 10

Trailer for "Cannibal Holocaust:"

"Pieces" You Don't have to go to Texas for a Chainsaw Massacre!

Director: Juan Piquer Simon

Starring: Christopher George & Linda Day George



Pesky serial killer at your university?

Rest assured, the fine folks at the Boston University that "Pieces" takes place at, had to deal with the same thing.

At the start of "Pieces," a child putting together a puzzle of a nude woman is caught by his mom only to be slapped and asked something among the lines of "Do you want to end up like your father?!"

Apparently the little boy does. When sent from the room by his mom to bring a trash bag to throw away the rest of his pornographic goodies, he returns with an axe and shows her how much that puzzle meant to him.

Fast forward 40 years and now there is a madman (with a yellow chainsaw) roaming a Boston College campus, killing girls and only taking the body parts he needs to make his own female body.

As a movie, "Pieces" can work two ways.

In order for it to work the first way, you have to be a fan of the genre. If you are into the genre, you will light up with glee every time you watch it. Nudity? Check. Gnarly Gore? Check. Terrible dubbing? You bet!

The other way "Pieces" can work is as a party movie.

Call up a few friends, buy a twelve pack of Dr. Pepper, and just have fun watching "Pieces." You and your friends can laugh at the terrible dialogue, gawk at some boobies, or cringe at the gore.

Is it the overly male student that finds it easy to get laid?
Is it the homosexual anatomy professor?
Is it the all-to-eager-to-help Dean?
Or is it the creepy maintenance man (with a yellow chainsaw)?

Watch "Pieces" and find out. With several "OMG WTF?!" scenes (particularly the very end), the only thing you stand to lose by not watching "Pieces" is a good time.


Highly Recommended
For Fans of Exploitation, Sleaze, and Cult Cinema.
8 out of 10

Trailer for "Pieces":