October Challenge 2013

During the month of October, I undertook the October Challenge, which is simply to watch one horror movie a day during the month of October. In addition, I thought it would be fun to come up with a top 10 list out of the 32 movies (I watched two movies on Halloween) that I watched. I had a tough, but ultimately fun time coming up with this list.

In the order I watched them; here is the full list of movies I watched during October 2013.

1. Seed of Chucky (2004) Directed By: Don Mancini
2. Psycho (1960) Directed By: Alfred Hitchcock
3. ParaNorman (2012) Directed By: Chris Butler and Sam Fell
4. I Drink Your Blood (1970) Directed By: David E. Durston
5. Day of the Dead (1985) Directed By: George A. Romero
6. Night of the Living Dead (1990) Directed By: Tom Savini
7. Return of the Living Dead Part 2 (1988) Directed By: Ken Wiederhorn
8. A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) Directed By: Samuel Bayer
9. Diary of the Dead (2007) Directed By: George A. Romero
10. Zombi 3 (1988) Directed By: Lucio Fulci and Bruno Mattei
11. Corruption (1968) Directed By: Robert Hartford-Davis
12. Cat in the Brain (1990) Directed By: Lucio Fulci
13. Zombie (1979) Directed By: Lucio Fulci
14. The Fly (1986) Directed By: David Cronenberg
15. Planet Terror (2007) Directed By: Robert Rodriguez
16. Beyond the Darkness (1979) Directed By: Joe D’Amato
17. Hell of the Living Dead (1980) Directed By: Bruno Mattei
18. Storm Warning (2007) Directed By: Jamie Blanks
19. Curse of Chucky (2013) Directed By: Don Mancini
20. Fright Night 2: New Blood (2013) Directed By: Eduardo Rodriguez
21. Rogue (2007) Directed By: Greg Mclean
22. Dance of the Dead (2008) Directed By: Gregg Bishop
23. Slither (2006) Directed By: James Gunn
24. Eden Lake (2008) Directed By: James Watkins
25. The Conjuring (2013) Directed By: James Wan
26. The Frighteners (1996) Directed By: Peter Jackson
27. Jeepers Creepers (2001) Directed By: Victor Salva
28. Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 (1990) Directed By: Jeff Burr
29. Night of the Creeps (1986) Directed By: Fred Dekker
30. Dawn of the Dead (1979) Directed By: George A. Romero
31. Halloween 3: Season of the Witch (1982) Directed By: Tommy Lee Wallace
32. Trick ‘r Treat (2007) Directed By: Michael Dougherty

So out of those 32 movies, here is my top 10:

10. Storm Warning (2007) Directed By: Jamie Blanks

While fishing, a couple becomes lost and discovers a small island inhabited by a crazy family. When the boyfriend discovers the family is growing marijuana, he knows they won’t let them leave. The girlfriend turns into a MacGyver of sorts and there are a few nasty gore shots towards the end.

9. Eden Lake (2008) Directed By: James Watkins

A couple getting harassed by a group of teenage punks turns deadly after an altercation between them ensues. Well paced with a great, dark ending, Eden Lake showcases a story that seems fairly plausible.

8. Night of the Living Dead (1990) Directed By: Tom Savini

A group of strangers try to survive in a farm house on the first night flesh eating ghouls come back from the dead. This is a remake of the incredible 1968 film of the same name. This version changes some the character’s characteristics and outcomes, while keeping the majority of the events the same from the original film.

7. I Drink Your Blood (1970) Directed By: David E. Durston

A group of Satan worshippers, all hopped up on LSD, become infected with rabies and terrorize a town of about 40 people. Fantastic gore, unintentional humor, and bad meat pies make this one a blast.

6. Slither (2006) Directed By: James Gunn

An entity from space turning people into zombie like creatures is opposed only by a team of incompetents. An awesome blend of monster movies and humor, Slither really hits a high with its whacky dialogue and creature design.

5. The Conjuring (2013) Directed By: James Wan

The Conjuring is a haunted house movie based on a “true” story. The atmosphere is genuinely tense and every time I wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, after I watched this movie, I hope it’s not 3:07 A.M.

4. The Fly (1986) Directed By: David Cronenberg

A remake of a 1958 film of the same name, The Fly centers around a man working on a teleportation device. When he decides to try it himself, a fly enters the device. Although the teleportation is a success, he slowly begins turning into a human size house fly. The practical effects are a real treat and the central character is easy to sympathize with.

3. Zombie (1979) Directed By: Lucio Fulci

In search of her missing father, a woman is lead to an island overrun by zombies. An incredible score, fantastic gore effects, and set pieces I’ve only seen in this movie, Zombie rightfully deserves its place in zombie movie history.

2. Day of the Dead (1985) Directed By: George A. Romero

A group of scientists and military men, living in an underground bunker, try to decide what is the best course of action living in a world completely destroyed by zombies. Romero hits a high in writing what zombies are now capable of and this easily has the best gore effects out of all six Romero of the dead movies.

1. Dawn of the Dead (1978) Directed By: George A. Romero

Four survivors take refuge in a huge shopping mall in a world overrun by zombies. With its simple plot and enjoyable characters, the film is relatable, albeit being set during a zombie apocalypse.

Thanks for reading!

V/H/S

Directed By: David Bruckner, Glenn McQuaid, Joe Swanberg, Ti West, Adam Wingard, and Radio Silence.

V/H/S is a POV horror anthology that tells the story of several guys that are hired to break into a house and steal a VHS tape. Not knowing which tape they are to take, they begin watching different videos and those are the segments the audience gets to see.

The entire movie is made to look like it was shot on video, which doesn’t only look cool, but is also a sweet throwback to the 80s and 90s horror video rental boom.

I thought having a wrap around story was pretty tight. Instead of just having a host, the wrap around story acted as another segment, making it a total of six(!) segments in this horror anthology.

The first segment “Amateur Night” tells the story of three super bro douche bags that have gotten their hands on a pair of glasses that has a super small spy camera on it. Their plan: Go to bars, pick up girls, take them back to their hotel, fuck them, and film it. However, one of the girls they pick up is much more than they bargain for. For two, three seconds of this segment, I felt the same astonishment that I felt the first time I saw Cloverfield. “Amateur Night” is one of two of my favorite segments in V/H/S.

The second segment “Second Honeymoon” tells the story of a couple who has their road trip cut short after a visitor shows up one night at their hotel. Directed by Ti West, “Second Honeymoon” is very well made, but it sort of takes it’s time. I found it creepy during my first viewing, but during my second viewing, I was eager for this segment to end.

The third segment “Tuesday the 17th” tells the story of four kids that head into the forrest to do some swimming, drugs, and fucking. Sound familiar? Than you won’t be too surprised whenever I tell you that a homicidal maniac shows up. But what makes this homicidal maniac different from other homicidal maniacs is that he or she is an electronic disturbance. The best way I can describe the killer is by telling you to put a ringing cellphone next to a turned on television. That interference is what this killer is made of. So whenever he or she is next to the camera it looks like the camera is just going to short out. There’s kind of a bullshit back story with one of the kids and the killer but the killer was creepy enough and the kills were cool enough to make this segment one of my favorites.

The fourth segment “The Strange Thing that Happened to Emily” takes place entirely over a Skype like service. Emily and her boyfriend are in a long distance relationship and Emily believes her apartment is haunted, so whenever creepy shit starts going on in the apartment, Emily calls her boyfriend so he can see the ghosts over his computer. I feel like I am being nit picky, but this is one segment that could have used some back story. I understand that this is only a 10, 15 minute segment, but whenever the twist was revealed, my only thought was what the fuck? The kookiness of this segment made it one of my least favorite segments.

The fifth segment, “10/31/98” is the second of my two favorite segments. “10/31/98” tells the story of four dudes that are going to a costumed Halloween party. When these dudes witness a SATANIC SACRAFICE, they have to decide if it is just a Halloween gag or not. I would describe this segment as a roller coaster with plenty of twist, turns, and laughs. CAST HIM DOWN CAST HIM DOWN CAST HIM DOWN

And finally the wrap around story “Tape 56.” Do these guys ever find the tape they are looking for? Are they alone in the house? Is one of the dudes filming over a tape that has another member of the group having sex with his girlfriend? We may not get all the answers that we want, but like I stated earlier in my review, having a wrap around story is much cooler than just having a host introduce each segment.

V/H/S is most def one of my favorite movies of the 2012.

At the time of this writing, you can watch V/H/S on VOD and it is in theaters October 5, 2012. Check this shit out!!!

7 out of 10
Trailer for V/H/S:

Cabin In The Woods

Directed By: Drew Goddard

Starring: Kristen Connolly & Fran Kranz

Cabin in the Woods tells the story of five college kids(!) that head to a vacation cabin to do some partying. Shortly after they arrive, monsters start to show up and attack them.

To say anymore about Cabin in the Woods’ story may give it away. However, Cabin in the Woods is not just one of the smartest horror movies I have ever seen, but one of the smartest movies I have ever seen as well as the most fun.

It genuinely made me laugh, creep me out on a couple of occasions, and made me fall deeper in love with the genre. I left the theater immediately wanting to see it again.

9 out of 10
Trailer for Cabin in the Woods:

Shame

Directed by: Steve McQueen

Starring: Michael Fassbender & Carry Mulligan

Shame tells the story of Brandon, a successful New York business man that has an addiction to sex. When his little sister, Sissy, moves in with him, his world is turned upside down.

Shame is a stinging portrayal of addiction. It is graphic at times, but it does a great job of not always showing you what is happening and letting your imagination work.

With so many addictions out there, Shame suggests that you have to hit rock bottom before you can overcome your addiction.

8 out of 10
Trailer for Shame:

Chronicle

Directed By: Josh Trank

Starring: Dane DeHaan & Alex Russell

Chronicle is a found footage movie that tells the story of three teenagers that gain incredible superpowers after being exposed to something they find in a hole.

Being PG – 13 and labeled as a superhero movie, I was surprised at how high the stakes were in Chronicle. There is even a body count in it. A small one, but a body count nonetheless.

I don’t think I would label it a superhero movie because there is nobody running around in tights and there are no villains, unless you count everyday real life struggles.

Chronicle felt fresh to me because we didn’t see these kids turn into crime fighters; instead their actions seem like stuff I would engage in if I had such powers.

I feel as if Chronicle would have functioned better if it wasn’t a found footage movie, but maybe the filmmakers decided to take that route due to budget constraints. Either way, Chronicle is a remarkable entry into the found footage and superhero genres.

8 out of 10
Trailer for Chronicle:

The Human Centipede 2

Directed By: Tom Six

Starring: Laurence R. Harvey & Maddi Black

The Human Centipede 2 tells the story of Martin, a developmentally disabled man that is so obsessed with the original Human Centipede movie that he wants to create a 12 person human centipede in “real life.”

Being a fan of horror, hard gore, and exploitation movies, The Human Centipede 2 was one of the most confusing movies I have ever seen. I didn’t like it, but it delivered exactly what it promised in terms of shock value. Of course the ante has to be bigger in a sequel.

I would consider The Human Centipede 2 to be as shocking as Cannibal Holocaust, but I was able to find meaning in Cannibal Holocaust. With The Human Centipede 2, I just don’t know.

5 out of 10
Trailer for The Human Centipede 2:

The Dead

Directed By: The Ford Brothers

Starring: Rob Freeman & Prince David Oseia

In Africa, a war has broken out causing American soldiers and doctors to be over there. When a zombie outbreak occurs, the war stops and most people try to leave. One man, Brian, is not so lucky when his plane crashes after just taking off. Brian soon meets up with Daniel, whose son is missing. They team up in hopes to find Daniel’s son and a plane to leave the continent.

The first half hour is absolutely stellar in The Dead. It is fast paced, suspense filled, and I dare to say original in the opening scene. The Dead reminded me of Lucio Fulci’s Zombie because of its African setting.

Unfortunately, the filmmakers must have lost their creative juices because the last hour is soo slow. The movie also suffers from having the characters make poor choices and some of their outcomes to be disappointing.

Ultimately, The Dead is just forgettable zombie movie junk that had potential.

4 out of 10
Trailer for The Dead:

The Misfits - The Devil's Rain

Released By: Misfits Records

I have ready plenty of reviews that bash this album, specifically because Danzig has nothing to do with it. Well you know what, current Danzig material sucks, so big deal if a new Misfits album sucks. It’s just an old man (Jerry Only) holding on to something that must be special to him. But that opinion aside, I will still buy whatever future release Danzig and Co. or Only will put out.

1. The Devil’s Rain – An incredibly slow track to start an album off with, specifically an album by a “punk” band. This title track is named from a 1975 William Shatner movie of the same name, a bad idea in its own. The hook is slightly catchy and the sample of a rain storm sounds pretty cool. What’s better than this song is the cover art that depicts this song. A fiend bringing down rain as it melts people’s faces off. Rating – 4 out of 10

2. Vivid Red – This song comes in one song too late it, as it is a much welcomed faster paced song about a scene from Bram Stoker’s Dracula. This song scores points for being about a horror movie and having a fairly good hook and some woahs! Rating – 6 out of 10

3. Land of the Dead – Who would have thought Only actually watches horror movies? The lyrics are actually about the movie, which is something I want to give props to, but Only actually manages to drive the hook into the ground and sounds like a jackass. Rating - 5 out of 10

4. The Black Hole – A faster paced song that sounds very similar to Nim Vind’s doo wop horror punk sound. A great hook makes this my favorite track on the album. Rating - 8 out 10

5. Twilight of the Dead – One “of the dead” title tracks is enough even for a horror punk band and Only’s woahs sound like crap in this song. And there is a solo in this song. Another terrible idea Mr. Only. Rating - 3 out of 10

6. Curse of the Mummy’s Hand – This song is soo long and drawn out. It’s like the hook is never going to come. However, the hook isn’t that bad, but the hook can’t save this song. Oh, and another solo. Rating - 4 out of 10

7. Cold In Hell – The music in this song is fun and upbeat. The repetitiveness of the lyrics makes this song almost easy to get stuck in your head. Rating - 6 out of 10

8. Unexplained – Such a long and unnecessary intro and it’s another song about being lost in space. A crappy and lazy hook makes this song easily skip able. Rating - 1 out of 10

9. Dark Shadows – This song is almost the bullet to this gang of zombies because as soon as this song starts I’m thinking about just turning this album off. The verses are just ok. Rating - 2 out of 10

10. Father – The album begins to show signs of life (maybe that’s a bad thing for a horror punk band) with this song that sounds like a crap 80s metal song. The lyrics shine here as they are about a man questioning his father if he is a vampire or not. The lyrics remind of George A. Romero’s excellent vampire movie Martin about a teenager that believes he may be a vampire even though he doesn’t have any vampire characteristics. Rating - 7 out of 10

11. Jack The Ripper – Thankfully Jerry decides to take a break on vocals and ‘ol Dez sings this song. It’s a fast paced song with a stupid hook (“where you gonna go? What cha gonna go?) that still manages to be catchy. Rating – 6 out of 10

12. Monkey’s Paw – A slower paced song that works well with Only’s vocals. The hook is just whatevs. Rating – 4 out of 10

13. Where Do They Go? – This song has a good idea; it’s about girls that go missing in Mexico. But the music sucks, Only’s vocals suck, and to top it off, Only’s wife and daughter sing on this song. Such a stupid song idea makes this the worst track on the album. Rating - 0 out of 10

14. Sleepwalkin’ – Again, not bad lyrics, but bad music and Only’s vocals again make for a crap track that kind of picks up towards the end. Rating 1 out of 10

15. Ghost of Frankenstein – This song starts off with some old sounding violin that puts me into mind of a silent monster movie. Then the song starts pretty hard, probably the hardest track on the album. Then Only starts to grunt and growl, I am assuming to sound like Frankenstein’s monster, but really it just sounds stupid. The hook is ok making this one of the better tracks on the album. Rating – 7 out of 10

16. Death Ray – Interesting enough, Dez closes the album with a fast paced song, an ok hook, and cool samples of what sounds like UFOs attacking something. Rating – 6 out of 10

Obviously neither Danzig nor Graves is coming back to the Fits, so taking this album as it is, I guess it’s cool. I was surprised by how fast I took to some of the songs.

Overall Rating – 4 out of 10

God Of War 3

Developed By: Santa Monica Studio

Playable On: Playstation 3

God of War 3 is an action/adventure platformer that is the final chapter in the story of Kratos, the God of War, who is looking to destroy Olympus and kill the all mighty Zeus.

I LOVE how “M-Rated” this game is. I think I was actually a little shocked at some of the violence and gore that can be found in GoW 3, simply because I don’t think I have ever seen violence portrayed like this in a video game. I don’t know how other players felt, but all the violence made me feel like a badass. Whether I was cutting somebody’s legs off, gouging someone’s eyes out, or ripping somebody’s head off, I was behind Kratos’ actions 100% and took pleasure in it. What made the violence even better was the gameplay that revolved around cinematic gameplay, in which you had to press a button or move a analog stick at a specific time to cause an action, like slicing open a minotaur’s belly to see all of it’s intestines spew out by rotating the left analog stick.

I never thought I would see a three way lesbian set piece in a video game, but there is one in GoW 3, and the mini sex game that ensues is mildly silly the first time played.

I really don’t think the “epicness” that is portrayed in GoW 3 can be described in words and do it justice. There are levels that are giant monsters, in GoW 3’s case, titans, that you are walking on that you have to kill (another thing that made me feel like a badass). I think it is insane that the PS3 possesses the power to create such grand stages that graphically look tremendous and the gameplay and frame rate never drops or lags. I think the game really just has to be played to truly understand the “jaw dropping” factor that GoW 3 contains.

Another faucet of excellent gameplay that can be found in GoW 3 are the puzzles that have to be solved. The puzzles were never frustrating, but they were hard enough to be gratifying after they were solved.

If I had to nit pick, there is really only one thing that I can find wrong about this game and it revolves around the Rage Meter. The Rage Meter is filled by simply killing enemies. After the meter is filled, Kratos can go into Rage mode in which he is stronger and moves faster. The reason I had a problem with it was because to go into Rage mode you have to press in both analog sticks. You move with the left analog stick and I was constantly accidently tapping the right analog stick and going into Rage mode. Rage mode can be a tide turner in a fight if you are surrounded by enemies and/or low on health, but I rarely had it because I would constantly set it off by accident when I didn’t need it.

In most games, after you kill the final boss, the game ends. But not in GoW 3, you get a little more gameplay after the final boss and GoW 3 delivers one of the best endings I have ever seen in a video game. I think GoW 3 is one of the best action/adventure platformer games I have ever played.

10 Out of 10
Trailer for God of War 3:

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Directed By: David Fincher

Starring: Daniel Craig & Rooney Mara

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo tells the story of a journalist, Blomkvist, and a computer hacker, Salander, trying to solve an unsolved 40 year old murder case. They soon unravel a grander murder scheme and corruption within a single family.

Having never read the book or having seen the 2009 Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, my expectations were still high for this movie, simply because it is a David Fincher movie. And in my opinion, Fincher certainly knows how to handle a murder mystery. Fincher also helmed the phenomenal Seven and 2007’s Zodiac.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo starts off with a fantastic credit sequence, one of my favorite credit sequences of 2011. As the credits roll, it looks like a bunch of inkblot tests are fighting while a cover of Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song” plays. After the core characters are introduced, I felt like the pace of the movie slows down as we see Blomkvist and Salander interview people and go over tons of photographs as they search for new evidence. But once the revelations are discovered, the film regains an even faster pace with plenty of elaborate set pieces that I thought for sure would be the climax of the film, but the film only continues with even bigger surprises. It was a lot of fun getting to know these characters and who they truly are after new light is shed on the case they are trying to solve and the philosophies some of these characters believe in.

When comparing Girl’s score with the Social Network’s score, because it was the same couple of composers, I was let down. Girl’s score is pale when compared to the Social Network’s. Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross certainly deserved the Oscar they won for the Social Network’s score, but I just felt like they were unable to recreate that magic, atmosphere, and tone they set in the Social Network.

I believe Fincher was again able to create an atmosphere that is unsettling and captivating, leaving the viewer guessing until the last reel. I know I am on board with these characters and wherever their exploits take them next.

8 Out Of 10
Trailer for the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo:

Hardcore

Directed By: Paul Schrader

Starring: George C. Scott & Peter Boyle

Hardcore tells the story of Jake, a conservative and Christian from Iowa. When his daughter heads to California on a church field trip and doesn’t return, Jake hires a private investigator to find her. The P.I. finds out she is doing hardcore porn films, so Jake sets out to California, with the help of a prostitute named Niki, to find his daughter.

I thought Hardcore had a tremendous premise, but ultimately it just kind of fell flat. Hardcore was not able to capture that dark, gritty, and sleazy side of the porn industry that films like 8MM and Boogie Nights were so able to wonderfully capture.

I also like the idea of a good person that is just trying to do something right, but is pushed to far to some type of extreme, like excessive violence. But we never see Jake reach that point, even though his daughter has been missing for months and he has had to see terrible things to get information about his daughter’s whereabouts.

I felt there was only two highpoints in Hardcore and one came in a scene when Jake is watching his daughter in one of the porn films she has done. I was cringing right along with Jake. The other highpoint came when Jake and Niki are talking about the value of sex. It was interesting to hear their points of view since one is a conservative and the other is a prostitute.

4 Out Of 10:
Trailer For Hardcore:

My Favorite Films of 2011

Unfortunately, I have yet see every film that came out in 2011, so this is just an alphabetical list of films that I saw and really liked that were released in 2011.

- Attack The Block
- Drive
- Fright Night
- Hobo With A Shotgun
- Paul
- Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes
- Scream 4
- Super 8
- Win Win
- X-Men: First Class

Return of the Living Dead

Directed By: Dan O’Bannon

Starring: Clu Gulager & Thom Mathews

Return of the Living Dead fantastically starts off by stating that it is based on a true story. It immediately lets you in on the joke that it tells over the next hour and a half. And it makes me hope that the stupid idiots that believe the Texas Chainsaw Massacre is real have to think about that statement.

Return of the Living Dead tells the story that George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead is actually real, but Romero had to change all the facts around so he wouldn’t be sued. And it just so happens that a group of zombies from that fateful night in Pennsylvania has ended up in a medical supply warehouse were three of the protagonists work. When a container that possesses one of the zombies is opened, all hell breaks loose.

The zombies in ROTLD are nothing like Romero’s zombies. They run, they can state complete sentences, and possibly the most blasphemous thing I have ever seen in a zombie movie, they don’t die whenever there brain is destroyed. Decapitate one. Nothing. Put a pick ax in the back of one of their skulls and they still keep coming!

The main characters have a ton of charisma as they spout off witty quips as they try to figure out ways to outsmart the living dead. You get Burt, the owner of the medical supply warehouse and the leader of the bunch, Ernie, the owner of the mortuary next door and a possible Nazi, Frank, who is kind of the idiot of the bunch, and Freddy, the naïve new guy. Burt is definitely my favorite character. In addition to the characters being strong, the situation they are in is so dire that I don’t think the movie would be as fun if the situation wasn’t so hopeless.

The humor is also great and intentional. Not only do the dead come back to life, but so does every other dead thing in the medical supply warehouse. And seeing two of the main characters try to beat a split dog to death is sure to cause a chuckle. Or hearing the staple ROTLD zombie “The Tarman” say “More Brains” could cause you to ROFL.

Return of the Living Dead has one of the best endings a horror movie can posses and I wish more horror films would end like that. Unfortunately every sequel in the ROTLD series is complete trash and with the exception of Shaun of the Dead, I hate comedy in zombie movies, but I am willing to say that the original ROTLD is as important in the zombie genre as Romero’s Dawn of the Dead is.

8 out of 10
Trailer for “Return of the Living Dead:”

Survival of the Dead

Directed By: George A. Romero

Starring: Alan Van Sprang & Kenneth Welsh

“Survival of the Dead” takes place just a few days after the original Night of the Living Dead, after the dead began to walk. You learn there is an island, named Plum Island, near Delaware. On Plum Island there are two families that have always ran it, the O’Flynns and the Muldoons, and they have never seen eye to eye. Now with the dead walking and trying to eat the living, they disagree with each other even more. The O’Flynns believe every zombie should be killed immediately, while the Muldoons want to “save” the zombies by locking them up and waiting for a cure to be discovered. The Muldoons also hope they can teach the zombies to eat various animals instead of the flesh of the living. Soon, a group of rogue soldiers learn about Plum Island and decide to go there. Once there, the soldiers are caught in between the war that exists between the O’Flynns, the Muldoons, and the large number of zombies that ravage Plum Island.

Romero’s attempts at humor bore me. Maybe Romero is still stoked on Shaun of the Dead, but his idea of humor is not funny to me. Romero’s “humor” primarily comes in the form of different ways to kill zombies. Such as shoving a fire extinguisher into a zombie’s mouth or shooting a zombie in the head, only for the top of his scalp to fall on what remains of the stump of his neck. What makes stuff like this not funny to me is the CGI that is used to perform the kill. The CGI just looks like crap. So instead of laughing at the idea that the zombie’s eyes just burst out of his head because it just got filled with the contents of a fire extinguisher, I’m thinking, “God that CGI looks bad.” And to make things worse, a large number of zombies that are killed are done so in a “humorous” manner. “Survival of the Dead” certainly doesn’t need any comedic relief scenes because it’s not that scary of a movie. Maybe the pie scene worked so well in the original Dawn of the Dead because it was so kookie and most importantly CGI free. I just feel like zombie movies don’t need to have any CGI in them because so many good zombie movies came out in the 70s and 80s and last time I checked, they didn’t have any CGI in them.

CGI and humor complaints aside, there is actually a lot of cool things going on in “Survival.” For example, we get to learn new rules of what can happen in a Romero zombie movie. “Survival” teaches us that if YOU bite a zombie, you will slowly turn into one. There is another cool rule that we learn, but I don’t want to give it away because it is a minor plot twist.

The cinematography is absolutely beautiful and it does a tremendous job of capturing the countryside of Plum Island. If “Survival” really was shot near Delaware, I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that some parts of Delaware must be very pretty. The final still shot of “Survival,” in which we get to see what past Romero zombie films have taught us, is possibly my favorite shot in the movie.

The score is also very good as well. It does a great job of moving the action in the movie at a creepy pace. I found some of the “jump out scares” to be very effective due to the score adding something more to the scare. The gore that wasn’t done with CGI is worth mentioning. There are a couple of good body rips and a quick scalping in “Survival” that are fun.

I have read on the internet how some people believe this is Romero’s take on the abortion topic, with the O’Flynns being pro-choice and the Muldoons being pro-life. I think that is great that some people look for a deeper meaning in a Romero zombie movie. I also think it is cool if you just want to watch a zombie movie and see someone get ripped in half. Although some of Romero’s ideas are no longer fresh, as long as he keeps making movies, I will keep watching them.

6 out of 10:
Trailer for “Survival of the Dead:”

Strange Wilderness

Directed By: Fred Wolf

Starring: Steve Zahn & Allen Covert

“Strange Wilderness” tells the story of Peter Gaulke, a nature “expert” with a nature television show that airs at 3AM. Including Peter, the majority of the show’s crew are pot-heads that probably have some type of developmental disability. When Peter learns the network is going to cancel his show, he decides he is going to find Bigfoot, capture him on film, and save his show.

The humor in “Strange Wilderness” is driven by penis jokes, weed jokes, and a little shock humor. I’m sure a lot of people would find this type of humor to be “immature,” and I love a witty joke that makes you think about it before you get it as much as the next guy, but I think someone farting in a crowd of people is hysterical.

With “Strange Wilderness” being a Happy Madison production, a lot of supporting actors that you normally see in Adam Sandler movies have bigger roles in this. Justin Long and Jonah Hill also have memorable characters in this.

At only 80 minutes long, “Strange Wilderness” never has a chance to drag and the penis jokes don’t have a chance of getting old. And seeing the outcome of the crew’s meeting with Bigfoot is pretty gold.

6 Out Of 10
Trailer for “Strange Wilderness:”

Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

Developed By: Infinity Ward and Sledgehammer Games

Playable On: Xbox 360, Playstation 3, and PC

What the hell is going on in the story of Modern Warfare 3? Maybe I didn’t understand it because I never played the first Modern Warfare. Or maybe it was because you are constantly playing as different characters in the campaign and I had trouble following all the different narratives. But I will tell you what, the story doesn’t matter because MW3 is one of the prettiest and over the top games I have ever played. You will be much more concerned about watching the Eiffel Tower blow up and collapse than why is the Eiffel Tower blowing up and collapsing.

What I was able to get is that there is a crazy Russian terrorist by the name of Makarov, and for the first two Modern Warfares he has been gaining power. And finally in MW3, he has started World War 3. The game does an amazing job of putting you in these crazy over the top set pieces giving you the same mission: capture or kill Makarov and his associates. Occasionally there is a rescue mission of sorts, but those never pan out well.

What makes these over the top set pieces even greater is that you actually feel like you are in control. I played through the story mode on Veteran (Expert) and there was constantly something going on causing complete chaos. And during all this chaos, the progress you are making actually feels like your doing and not the game just going through automatic motions. One of my favorite set pieces came when you are sitting shotgun in this wild high speed car chase and the car you are chasing turn sideways and the car you are in rams it. The game then goes into slow mo and you have to kill everybody in the car except for the man you are trying to capture. Super epic. Even the stealth missions were nerve racking. MW3 proves that even trying not to be spotted by enemies can be as exciting as a ton of bombs exploding all around you. I want to know why Michael Bay hasn’t directed a Call of Duty yet. I would assume that would be right up his alley. The story mode took me seven hours and 38 minutes to complete it, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

No Call of Duty would be complete without its multiplayer component. If you have played Call of Duty multiplayer in the past then you know what to expect. As you play games you level up gaining access to better weapons, perks and kill streak awards. And it is still as addictive as ever. There are a couple of new games types such as Kill Confirmed and Team Defender. In Kill Confirmed you have to pick up your fallen foe’s dog tags in order for the kill to count and you can deny a kill by picking up a teammate’s dog tags. In Team Defender, you have to capture a flag and see how long your team can hold on to it. Halo owns my multiplayer heart, but COD multiplayer sure is fun.

Spec Ops returns from Modern Warfare 2, in which you are given various missions and you try to earn stars by trying to see how fast and well you can complete them. The new and awesome addition to Spec Ops is Survival. In Survival, you fight endless waves of various enemies. With every kill you get, you earn money which allows you to buy different weapons and air support. The only negative thing about Survival is that it is only a two player mode, whereas Black Ops' Zombie mode allowed four players to play a single game. Gears of War 2 introduced us to this style of gaming and MW3 shows us why it is still fun.

I’m gonna go ahead and say that all the hype surrounding MW3 was well worth it, as well as me standing in line for half an hour at midnight to get a copy of it. I’m pretty sure people are going to be playing this game for a long time to come.

9 out of 10
Trailer for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3:

Hesher

Directed by: Spencer Susser

Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt & Natalie Portman

Hesher tells the story of TJ and his father Paul. TJ and his father have been struggling with the recent death of TJ’s mother. The two of them have moved into Paul’s mother’s house and they have started attending grief counseling sessions. After TJ has a random run in with the transient/metalhead/drunk Hesher, TJ cannot get rid of him. Hesher starts showing up at TJ’s school and soon he moves in with them. TJ’s grandmother, unaware of what is going on and Paul being too depressed to do anything about it, let Hesher stay. It just so happens, even though his methods are greatly flawed, Hesher just might be able to bring this family back together.

The relationships the characters share don’t really seem that believable and the situations they get into are really hard to guess what direction they are going to take. However, the movie greatly benefits from this because it keeps the viewer interested and guessing why are these characters spending time together and what is going to be their actions throughout every scene.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt has always been one of my favorite actors, but I thought the casting choice of Gordon-Levitt as Hesher was kind of weird. Gordon-Levitt did a good job of portraying Hesher, but he really didn’t give off that bad ass vibe that a character like Hesher should have. Rainn Wilson played Paul and I am used to seeing him play quirky characters, but I thought he did a good job portraying a depressed and lost individual. I thought Natalie Portman was fun in this movie for the fact that her character was kind of portrayed as a normal everyday Jane Doe. Even though her character was not meant to be attractive, I still found her very pretty. I don’t know anything about Devin Brochu, the actor that played TJ, but he did a really good job being a child actor playing a role that ended up being pretty emotionally heavy.

The soundtrack was kind of fun as songs from Motorhead and Metallica occasionally accompanied different scenes. One scene was fun when Hesher decides to do donuts in his van in a random parking lot to the circle pit part of some song.

I know Hesher was billed as a comedy, but after viewing it, I would call it a drama more than anything. Hesher is definitely an anti-hero that I think will win over most viewers. I think Hesher would actually benefit from a prequel, so we could know more about how Hesher became Hesher.

7 out of 10
Trailer for Hesher:

The Station Agent

Directed By: Thomas McCarthy

Starring: Peter Dinklage & Patricia Clarkson

The Station Agent tells the story of Finbar McBride, a dwarf from New Jersey. Finbar manages to ignore the strangers that constantly stare and make fun of him due to his height as he walks about town. After his good friend passes away, Finbar learns that he has inherited some land with a train depot. Finbar decides to move into the train depot content on living a life of solitude. Things don’t go as planned for Finbar when he meets Joe, a Cuban hot dog vendor and Olivia, a woman who is struggling with the recent death of her young son and divorce from her husband. Joe and Olivia try to push themselves into Finbar’s life as Finbar does his best to keep them out of it.

The Station Agent really takes its time establishing its characters, their relationships, and the conflicts that exist between them. The whole first hour of the movie felt like a lot of build up and it occasionally had to ask me to stick around because it promised there would be a good pay off.

After we have finally been well acquainted with the characters, Finbar can’t escape from the drama, as each scene in the latter half of the movie is filled with tension, as things go from bad to worse for Finbar. The movie does a great job of playing off of this because by this time you have already invested time in the characters and want to see the outcome of their problems.

Two other things I really did like about The Station Agent were the score and cinematography. The score was enjoyable because it gave off sort of an “indie” film type vibe that moved the scenes along well. It made sitting in the DVD Menu fun. I thought the cinematography was good because I thought that Newfoundland, New Jersey (if that’s even where the film was shot) didn’t have the prettiest of scenery to look at, but the cinematography had enough cool shots to attract the eye.

Sad for the majority of the time, but ultimately ending with a happy conclusion, The Station Agent shows that it’s possibly for the strangest of people to come together, become friends, and form a family.

6 out of 10
Trailer for the Station Agent:

Splatterhouse

Developed By: Namco Bandai Games

Playable on: Xbox 360 & Playstation 3

When I think of exploitation movies, there are two things that I hope are in abundance: tits and gore. At its core, Splatterhouse is definitely an exploitation title because two things are prominent: tits and gore.

Splatterhouse is a reboot of a 1988 side scrolling arcade game of the same name. Splatterhouse tells the story of Rick and his girlfriend Jennifer. Jennifer has an interview with Dr. West (Re-Animator anybody?), a professor of Necrobiology. Rick decides to tag along and once they arrive in Dr. West’s mansion, they are attacked by some of Dr. West’s experiments. Jennifer is kidnapped and Rick is mortally wounded. As he lies dying, Rick notices a mask that tells him that if he puts it on, it can help him save Jennifer. When Rick puts on the mask, named The Terror Mask, he is transformed into a giant Jason Voorhees/Hulk rip off.

Splatterhouse is a beat em up platformer that occasionally has some cool throwback 2D side scrolling segments. The majority of the combat is hand to hand combat and weapons, such as meat cleavers and my favorite, shotguns, can be picked up. All attacks can be linked together in combos, which felt very fluid, and after an enemy is killed, Rick collects their blood. The blood obtained from fallen enemies can then be used to buy upgrades for Rick. Some examples of upgrades include parts for a larger health meter or more combos to punish the undead creatures that roam around Dr. West’s mansion. Upgrades carry over to new games to justify playing through the game multiple times.

Another addition to the combat is Berserker mode. In Berserker mode, Rick turns into a monster himself, everything turns white, with the exception of the monster’s blood, as even more is spilled at this time, and Rick’s attacks become more powerful. Getting kills in Berserker mode is extremely gratifying. However, Berserker mode only lasts for a very limited time.

The writing dialogue was quite good. Rick and the Terror Mask have some pretty funny exchanges. Rick comes off as this humble guy trying to save his girlfriend, but the Terror Mask knows what kind of power he possesses and is not afraid to throw around the “F” word or make dick jokes.

Like many other games, Splatterhouse is littered with collectibles, allowing the gamer to go look for them if he or she decides to do so. These collectibles come in the form of torn pictures. Once all the pieces are found, they make a nude or semi-nude picture of Jennifer. I am a very linear game player, I just want to run through a stage as fast as I can, not go on some collectible looking side mission. However, I looked high and low in Dr. West’s mansion looking for the pieces of Jennifer’s pictures.

Another element that I thought made Splatterhouse unique was the soundtrack. Some bands on the track listing include: Five Finger Death Punch, Mastodon, and Lamb of God. I would never listen to any of these bands on my own time, but decapitating and disemboweling various monsters to these bands felt very fitting.

One fond memory of my childhood is playing video games on my Sega Genesis and one of my favorite games to play was Splatterhouse 2. Included on the disc, unlocked by playing through the story mode, is the entire Splatterhouse trilogy, complete in all there uncut gory glory. Having all three of the original Splatterhouse games on the disc was the biggest selling point for me.

Splatterhouse is not without its faults. My biggest complaint is its load times. Even with the game installed to my hard drive, some load times lasted up to a minute and a half or two. Some of the side scrolling segments were hard for me, so it was common for me to die, and to have to wait such a long period of time to try again just felt like insult to injury.

Level design also felt very uninspired and it feels like the development team stuck to a very strict color palette of reds and blacks. I was also disappointed in the small number of different creature designs. As you progress through the game, it feels like you are fighting the same monsters through the same stage. However, some of the boss battles were really cool, specifically the final boss fight.

When we watch exploitation movies, we turn the other way with bad acting, plot holes, and sometimes bad dubbing. If can look the other way with slightly repetitive gameplay, horrendous load times, and semi-bad level design, I recommend you check out Splatterhouse. It just may become your new guilty pleasure.

7 out of 10
Trailer for Splatterhouse:

Win Win "In The Game of Life, You Can't Lose Them All"

Directed By: Thomas McCarthy

Starring: Paul Giamatti & Alex Shaffer

Win Win tells the story of Mike Flaherty, a lawyer in New Jersey and head coach of a losing high school wrestling team that is afraid of losing his practice because of a lack of business. When he learns that the state of New Jersey is going to obtain guardianship of one of his elderly clients, Leo, Mike agrees to become his guardian, but only because he knows that Leo’s guardian receives a $1500 commission a month. Things get interesting when Leo’s 16 year old grandson, Kyle, shows up in New Jersey from Ohio wanting to live with him. Mike agrees to take Kyle in until they can arrange for Kyle to get back to Ohio. Mike soon learns that Kyle is an amazing wrestling and Mike is able to get Kyle to enroll in the high school he teaches at and gets him to wrestle for the team. However, things take a turn for the worse when Kyle’s mother shows up in New Jersey wanting to take Kyle and Leo back to Ohio with her.

The acting in Win Win I believe is what stands out the most. The way the characters are portrayed in it made it very easy for me to relate to them, specifically Kyle who has a very easy going nature, but with a possible dark past. I still found myself “rooting” for the character of Mike, even though he was scamming money off an elderly man because everything else seemed genuine about his character like his love for his family. I felt so emotionally attached to the characters that I was sad when the movie was over.

With several comedic scenes and lines from the supporting cast, Win Win provides multiple laughs. Win Win ultimately tells the tale that sometimes you have to do what is right, even though you might not benefit from it. I highly recommend it.

9 out of 10
Trailer for Win Win: